I could have added an additional four miles by continuing to the Fayetteville Square where the Farmer’s Market would have been in full swing, making for a great turn-around point and time to visit with the locals, and I thought about doing so for more than a few paces, but ultimately stuck to the plan for two reasons: number one being that I didn’t have enough Gu to do it without running out of energy, and number two being I don’t want to get injured early in training for my 10th marathon. And as much as I would have loved to extend my run, ultimately I was proud of myself for following the rules of distance running, which is something I rarely do. It’s not so much that I deliberately break them, but more like the fact that I don’t pay attention to them in the first place. I just run.
There are plenty of rules. Oldheads share them with newbies, magazines rehash them, gurus write books about them, and websites build entire pages around them. They’re everywhere, and most of them are really good. For instance:
Rule Number One: Find a Training Plan and Stick To It. If I had a nickel for every time i’ve read that exact phrase, I could pay someone to run a marathon for me. Training plans look like giant grids of numbers showing precisely how many miles to run four days a week, at what pace to run said miles, and which days to do it. They’re like data on overload, with 120 days mapped out for guaranteed success. I vaguely remember finding one online and printing it for my first few marathons, but I never paid any attention to them whatsoever.
Rule Number Two: Run Intervals To Increase Speed. This is a fancy way of saying choose short distances and run faster than normal, then slow down for a short distance, then repeat. Over and over again. Okay, yeah, everybody agrees that running intervals typically increases overall speed, but everybody also agrees that they’re best done on a track. Frankly, I’d rather rub broken glass in between my toes than run laps on a mindless, shadeless, circle of misery adorned with lap lanes.
Rule Number Three: Run Negative Splits To PR. Industry-specific jargon is worse than running out of ketchup with a plate full of french fries, and this rule is dripping jargon. Here’s what it means: the best way to run faster than the last time, or have a personal record, is to start slow and finish faster. Of course that means the runner must meticulously pay attention to pace, or even worse, succumb to those awful Garmin devices that track every single statistic imaginable and instantly load it to social media platforms. Don’t we worry and pine over enough data at work? Stop the insanity.
Rule Number Four: Get Good Shoes. Here’s a rule that will pay dividends in spades and gets me excited because I like getting new shoes, but some of the additional suggestions around shoes are a bit of a stretch. Always wear the same brand and never deviate? Hmmm. Never buy new shoes within a month of a big race. Meh. Alternate two pair of the same shoes each week while training. Who can afford that? Buy orthotics immediately or suffer imminent doom. Sounds like a marketing ploy to me. Here’s the deal on shoes: having a good, quality running shoe is essential, so find one that works. For me, it’s currently a pair of Asics that double as a carrying case for other running related accoutrement. See below. Yes, that’s a bottle of Gatorade shoved down in my left shoe. Judge me if you must.
Rule Number Five: Eat a High-Protein, Low-Fat Diet. Ummmm yeah, about that. I’m an eater. I like to eat. A lot. Of everything. On more than one occasion i’ve been called out for constantly snacking. The leather recliner I bought a few months ago, and have subsequently spent a ridiculous amount of time using, has been affectionately dubbed the Snack Throne. I like burgers, steak fajitas, tacos, cheese dip, peanuts, cereal, cookies, brownies, ice cream, birthday cake, nachos, buffalo wings, turkey sandwiches, and french fries. I don’t make any excuses about it, I like to eat. One of my favorite weekly feeds is the breakfast buffet at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. It’s the best $7.00 I spend each week. Note below: eggs, bacon, sausage, two biscuits, a donut, jelly, gravy, orange juice, and milk. Because marathoners Bruce Wilkins and Carole Swope both go to church at St. Paul’s but don’t eat the breakfast, i’m forced to eat for three.
Rule Number Six: Carb Load the Night Before A Race. Most people think this means go to an Italian restaurant and scarf down a massive plate of spaghetti and meatballs, then go home and go to bed. Bad idea. The best strategy is to eat a variety of carbs all week leading up to a race. My go-to meal the night before a marathon is pasta and chicken in an olive-oil based sauce and a glass (or two) of white wine.
Rule Number Seven: Warm Up Before, Stretch After. This is a great rule, but I don’t ever do it because I just want to run. Ain’t nobody got time to stretch. I’m better about doing the warm-up part, but I rarely stretch. I know, that’s bad.
Rule Number Eight: Above All Else, Hydrate. Of all the rules, this one, along with shoes, I tend to get right. Drinking water daily is essential for runners (and for everybody!), and adding Gatorade before, during, and after a big race will keep a runner heading toward the finish line and away from the medical tent. Dehydration isn’t pretty, y’all, and we all want to feel pretty. So grab a bottle of Gatorade. Now.
Yes, these rules of running are golden, but where the rules and I get sideways is that unmistakeable place inside me that makes me run in the first place. It’s that little kid telling me i’m stupid and not good, that I should go away from my friends and family and live somewhere else. It’s that part of me that wants to turn around and blend in and ignore the difficult parts of life. It’s a quiet war in my thoughts that is silenced when I lace up and run simply for the love of running. If I always followed the rules, I’d somehow mess up the training plan, I wouldn’t PR, and that’s not what I want. The rules would get in the way of my understanding of running, and I they would make me feel stifled. I just want to run.
So that’s what I do. I run without an official training plan, I don’t pay attention to pace, I eat chips when I want them, I always remember to hydrate, and I avoid those afwul tracks at all costs. It’s the trail system for me, thank you. I guess in some ways i’ve written my own rules and they’ve worked pretty well so far, because I keep doing what I love to do. And that little kid who said i’m not good? He’s a faded memory with every mile and every finish line.
Run.
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